Twitches


Kilroy was here

Kilroy was here

I finally found the answer. Last night was bad; I was having spasms in my knee and could not sleep. When I can’t sleep I am guilty of thinking. For some reason I was thinking about shopping the net versus real stores. I like browsing small shops but the big stores are like Facebook; they give me the creeps. Because of the bad knee, my store of choice is Amazon.com. I was remembering how I used to shop with Carolyn at Wal-Mart and a few other impersonal big stores. While in the middle of a memory, I remembered the reason I quit accompanying her to shopping back before my knee turned bad. I was wondering why my bride is a compulsive shopper and will tackle almost anything that has a “Sale” sign on it. A sudden spasm caused me to vividly see her going down an aisle displaying things for sale. She would move along and all of a sudden she through on the brakes and start tossing things from both sided into her cart. A lot of merchandise was knocked to the floor during her unusual activity and she bothered not to pick it up. She would walk awhile more and do the same weird thing again. Last night I realized she was having spasms; shopping spasms. She is one of the latter-day compulsive-spasmatics. Other shoppers would cringe in fear as her arms went flailing like a Dutch windmill on steroids, hands grabbing and tossing. I kept lagging farther and farther behind her in the store, hoping no one would know I was with her. Finally she would fill her cart and holler for me to push it while she went for another one. Her eyes became glazed like that of a reefer freak and there was an evil glint in her eye that threatened “don’t fuck with this girl while I am shopping!”. Her strange behavior is the real reason I quit going shopping; the knee became a convenient excuse. Even now when we are browsing in Amazon or Wal-Mart web stores, she periodically begins twitching her arms and some of the old look comes back to her eyes. When it happens, I tell her that my hands are hurting and I am going to quit. It is usually at least a half-hour more before I can get away from her frightening shoulder twitches and shelf-roving evil eye.

Friday!

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Published in: on April 5, 2013 at 5:39 pm  Comments (6)  
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  1. ‘Compulsive shopper’ is something new for me. I think no one of my family (or friends) is a ‘compulsive shopper’. Yes, it’s rather strange behaviour and a bit terrifying. I wonder if she really needed all these things she managed to gather in her cart. And I wonder what was happening with Carolyn’s arms when she had to pay the bill. I must admit that since I became the only provider of my family, it has been always the worst moment for me (cash desk). So I don’t buy too many items. I write on the piece of paper the merchandises I really need. I have in my computer my month expenditures estimates. It helps when our financial position is not too good.
    Love how you described your “girl”. 🙂 Will she read your blog? Have you ever talked about it? But I know people drive out of their mind things which are unpleasant for them. So she would rather say: “Absolute nonsenses. I’m quite normal shopper”.
    Oh, wait a moment, you reminded me that I have to buy some stuff to my bathroom and to my kitchen. So I’m going to my shop Carrefour. I’m in a hurry …. 😉
    xo

    • Being a compulsive shopper is a disease. No, she does not need or actually even want a lot of the things she buys. I am cursed! 🙂
      Carolyn could learn from you at the checkout counter. Americans hardly ever pay with cash; we use a debit card from our bank. If the bank likes you, they will allow you to buy more than you have money in the account to pay for then they stick a big fee on you for over-draft.
      Your Polish market resembles ours and has similar products. Everyone likes ketchup.
      Thanks, Jola. 🙂

      • I think in Poland a debit card is called ‘credit card’. I paid my hotel bill in Delft (Holland) with my credit card. Actually it was a kind of loan. I had been repaying it for 7 months.
        But it was really great journey and I don’t regret these costs. 🙂

      • WE also have credit cards but debit cards withdraw directly from the checking account; just like writing a check.
        I too am glad you went to Delft; I enjoyed the trip myself. 🙂
        Thanks, Jola. 🙂

  2. You kill me your stories of Carolyn.

    I use a debit for gas and rarely ever outside of that. We have been brain washed into using those damm things

    • Thank ye gods Carolyn doesn’t read my views.
      We use debit for most purchases. They say paper money is doomed but I dearly love the smell of used folding bills. A dollar smells just like a hundred dollar bill and that makes me feel rich. 🙂
      Thanks, Mark.


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